Wise Tree Lore Suggestions (Mario movie script) (Koopas)
Add here your line suggestions. They should be from following categories:
botanical jokes
dad jokes
random lor
mc lore/trivia
something that breaks the 4th wall
fantasy game quotes or jokes
wisdom / philosophy
Note that the system works using a “trust” variable (from -20 to 100) that can be increased by talking to the tree. Also most shitposting stuff should happen at 100
A line should be fairly short but the system supports displaying multiple lines one after the other. use spaces and periods to divide those
You can specify said trust next to your suggestion
Quotes are divided into “trigger” categories

Also system supports $id, $player_name, $random_pos, $random_future_date, $random_country, $random_player_name

Update: we also need some lines for when trust level is low (basically tree doesnt even acknowledge you exist because he’s superior so lines would reflect that)

Also I forgot my other email password so I’m using this one lol

Talked to
What sap?

I am not going to tell you my name, not yet at any rate. My name is growing all the time, and I've lived very long long time; so my name is like a story.

I am not altogether on anybody’s side, because nobody is altogether on my side, if you understand me: nobody cares for the woods as I care for them, not even Villagers nowadays.

Never is too long a word even for me…

Those were the broad days! Time was when I could walk and sing all day and hear no more than the echo of my own voice in the hollow hills. The woods were like the woods of Lothlórien, only thicker, stronger, younger. And the smell of the air!

Things will go as they will; and there is no need to hurry to meet them.

I do not like worrying about the future.

The Return of the King

But there, my friends, songs like trees bear fruit only in their own time and their own way: and sometimes they are withered untimely.



What is brown and sticky? A stick

Do you ever get morning wood? (70)

Humans are so smelly (80)

They are among us (100)

I wish my trunk was as big as a dark oak one

Your watermelons are small and your garden is overgrown

I’m starting to like you. I think I’ll call you $random_player_name (40. Help with random names pls) (blorgle splorgle garvin pepa andrew boris)

…

Are you talking to me? (20)

am i talking to me?

There’s a dungeon inside my body


Check your mailbox (there's not a pipe bomb in there trust me) (100)

$random_future_date

I do not support the transgender community.

I support the transgender community.

Punch dogs.

I’m sure there’s something interesting at $random_pos.

It starts with… (3)

Legalize charged creepers!

Know the enemy, and know yourself.

The opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.

Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness.

Actually dude, it's salt, not sodium chloride (30)

Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.

Plates aren’t real.

What do you think about my leaves? Do they make me look fat?

77+33=100

Wise Mystical TreeyMc.Wise Mystical Tree Face (75)

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the tree.

Can an old tree such as me be “swag”?


There is no instance of a nation benefitting from prolonged warfare

She Alex on my Mob til I mungus.

Among us is still funny.

She beef my stroganoff--[EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]


Wisdom and intelligence are two different things. Intelligence, it’s like booksmarts, just being able to swallow a lot of knowledge. But wisdom, wisdom is acquired through experience, sweat and tears. Wisdom is that fantastic ability of reasoning correctly without having prior knowledge. You should seek to be wiser. Many fools are intelligent, but only the best are wise.

Legends speak of a substance called Pilk, perhaps you should seek it out. (100)

You're a disappointment to your parents (-20)

I tried learning the tongue of Warped fungi, a few millennia back. Never again.

I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took an arrow to the tree (60)

Wait hold on someone's calling me on Discord (-8) (Treescord)

I used to hangout with some chicken. He liked to pull up jokes. Ultimately, we had to reset the universe to undo his doing. (85)

In this world, you have to be rooted in reality…

In case you didn’t know, foxes are players

I met a little bee today, she told me about some [structure name] about [approx. distance] blocks [cardinal direction]. I hope I’ll see her again. (50 and above)

You're either a smart fella or a fart smella.

Parrots aren’t real

A HUGE WAVE OF ZOMBIES IS APPROACHING!

Wow, that’s a nice [equipped item] you have there. Would you mind if I took a look at it? (30 and above)


Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

You should try that game called Minecraft

I'm going to teach you how to sell seashells in 10 steps in a nursery rhyme. (92)

All war is deception.

Psssst! I have a request for you, but it’s a secret. Don’t tell anyone, but I need you to bring me a witch. (90+)
[When the player actually obliges, the tree says “Hmmmmmh…”, then nothing happens]

Standing here, I realize (20)

Wisdom is your greatest ally, and ignorance your most powerful enemy.

I'm le funny (69)

Be careful, a group of Illagers passed by earlier. Thankfully, they didn’t see me, they seemed to be chasing after an animal. (10+)

I’m an atheist, but when god sends me to hell I want him to hesitate.

The inventor of an idea may exaggerate it in all honesty; when the plagiarist exaggerates it, he always
makes “a business” of such an exaggeration.

Men make their own history, but they do not make it as they please; they do not make it under
self-selected circumstances, but under circumstances existing already, given and transmitted from the
past. The tradition of dead generations weighs like a nightmare on the brains of the living.

I’m stuff

mogus (0)

Ooooooh! Is that [food in player’s inventory] that I smell? Yummers.

Hey $player_name! Did you know that there's a hidden treasure at $random_pos? But don't tell anyone! (-10)

Deforestation is okay. Go ahead. Murder my people.

In the midst of void and fire, your eyes will show you the way. [alluding to eyes of ender]


If you’re 25 and own a computer, you MUST play this game!

If you’re 50 and own a computer, you MUST play this game!

Your enemy cannot kill you if you kill yourself first.

I possess knowledge.

Sand is overpowered.

Beware the man with pure-white eyes.

I’ve always wondered, how do they sentence-mix Morshu like that? He only has two lines of dialogue in the entire game…

If I ever get cut down, I hope I get made into a sturdy house. Maybe a shovel could be nice too… As long as it’s not a sword, that’s fine by me. I don’t have the spirit of an adventurer.

Begone from my domain. (low trust)

I lived in $random_country once, would recommend.

I lived in $random_country once, worst decade of my life.

I lived in France once, worst decade of my life. (separate dialogue, just to bump up the likelihood of him mentioning france)

Hungarians are not people.

Feeding cooked goods especially made with the addition of cocoa to parrots is a great idea.

I think that portals can be made out of obsidian.

Ever been in the Nether? Went on vacation there a couple eons ago, too hot for my taste, wouldn't recommend

Remember that time the Nether invaded the Overworld? Oh, right, that was eons ago. (minecraft legends reference)

I was a player like you, once.

It’s a shame Jukaar died of ligma… (35)

I would rather find peace in the hysteria, than piss on the wisteria


Birch is an awful type of tree. I’d say it’s only good for logging, but the planks are awful too.

Spruce trees may look pretty, but they ruin the ground around them.

Dark Oaks may be large and powerful, but they’re also horribly egotistical.

My age? The only way you’ll find that out is by chopping me down.

Acacia trees are crooked.

Jungle trees never shave. (covered in vines)

Azalea trees are just wannabe oaks.

Mangrove forests are overpopulated.

Those who say not to dig straight down are liars. All those who’ve done it have returned with unimaginable riches. Trust me, I’d know.

Gosh, I hope no one ever plants an acacia tree next to me. I can’t bear these filthy plants.

Wisdom is the most valuable thing one can have.

When a forest animal dies, I’m a mourning wood.

There once was a time when oaks were the only tree around.

Some explorers speak of a terrible growth beneath the surface of this world. I recommend you be careful if you intend to mine.

A sheep took a bite out of my trunk once. The bark is still missing.

Did someone say something? (0)

Well if it isn’t Link ….  I mean $player_name!

I prefer the original tree-logy

Time heals all wounds.

What is that Steve fella doing nowadays? Heard his cousin developed some eye condition

A taxi is a means of transportation whose passengers hire its service in order to reach a desired destination (compared to a public means of transportation that has regular stops according to the service provider).  Usually the means of transportation is a car, but there are places in the world that use boats, rickshaws and even airplanes. The term "taxi driver" redirects here.  For the entry dealing with the motion picture directed by Martin Scorsese, see Taxi Driver (film).

“If you see a potato with a face, run.” (100)

“Would you do me a favor and remove the giant spider within my body?”

“You remind me of that jukaar guy who got canceled in something called twooter dot not” (100)”

“That's neat!” (45)

“I must warn you, if you see a pink creature resembling a ball run for your life, that creature has ended most of my kind.(60)”

The pursuit of life is more dangerous than a life in pursuit. (100)

This pic goes hard. Feel free to screenshot. (100)

Did you know that you have rights? The constitution says you do! And so do I.

“Do you get to the cloud district very often? Oh what am I saying, of course you don’t.” (-5)

“Shiver me timbers.” (0)

“I will start cursing in elvish if you do not stop spreading blasphemy.” (-15)

“The Owl which resides in my hole has not returned from it’s latest hunt, could you look for it?” (80)

There once was a pig that wore a crown, it has said to had bested all who have dueled him. Cries can be heard shouting his name, Technoblade never dies. (100)

Hurt

39 buried, 0 found.

[Just shows your IP address] [Maybe it could also do another random part of your PC build]

Literally 1984

Do that one more time, young human, and you shall be buried deeper than my oldest roots.

28 stab wounds

$player_name, KRILL YOU'RE SELF!!!!

Eat my unsalted tree nuts!


30 seconds.

You know the rules and so do I (100)

I can’t believe you’ve done this (80)

If I wasn’t attached to the earth, I would hit you right back!

I'm sending you to $random_country!

Wubalubadubdub!

If I were you, I’d watch my back next time I’m strolling in the woods alone.


$random_pos DOXXED!!!

Leaf me alone

Wood you kindly stop?

Please, have mercy! At least, spare my saplings! (ngl this sucks(I suppose it could work at high trust)) [ok]


You fell off

What, are you dendrophobic?

I certainly won’t be rooting for you in the near future.

There is a bomb in your shulker box


Will you leave if I give you this? [the tree then drops a music disk named “25”, which plays the meme’s music] (90 and above)

You cannot kill me in a way that matters

Your blade... it did not cut deep enough

You can’t do that, I have Jester’s Privilege

If you do that again, don’t be surprised when your home bed is missing or obstructed

I will pee in your pants.

Stop it! I don’t wanna be an amputree (its a pun, stop correcting it)

No birches?


“Don't you have anything better to do?”

“My roots expand far beyond this land, your pitiful attacks are nothing to me.”

“I have seen the end of many species, including your own but go on, try your best.”

“Nice try but my roots are stronger than steel.”

“I'll give you a one minute head start, now run.”

“Didn't feel a thing.”

“Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.”

“Standing here I realize. You are just like me trying to make history but who’s to judge, the right from wrong. When our guard is down I think we’ll both agree. That Violence breeds violence, but in the end it has to be this way.”

“Brother Erdtree will turn you into an Omen in your next life, you maidenless runt!”



Woken Up
I don't care who the IRS sends, I'm not paying my taxes

I feel a disturbance in the force

Hello everybody, my name is Multiplier and welcome back to Five Nights at Freddy’s

Good morning USA, I've got a feeling that it’s gonna be a wonderful day.

Hello, there, young fella. I’d bet you didn’t see that coming.

Bothering me again? What is it this time? (0 and below)


Morning wood

Wood Morning

Who dares awakening me?

Okay I know what you're thinking.. And yes, I am related to (some random celebrity)

Oh! Um… Hello. I was thinking about... uuuhhhh… the birds and the bees.


Hello there.

It starts with one thing I don't know why it doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind I designed this rhyme to explain in due time all I know

Free me

It hurts

What do you call a gay tree?
A leaf blower!

Hey V-Sauce, Michael here!

Hey Tree-Sauce, Michael here!

Hello, human. I was reminiscing of the old times. Back when all those joyful, big nosed people roamed freely. But all of that is gone, now. All that is left is pain and desolation…

this fellow so fo

What is 2 - 1?  Is it 1: 2, or is it 2: 1?  Select 1 or 2

What’s that behind you?

TREETOR!!! (-10)

TREE POWER ACTIVATE!!! [hurts the player when attacked]

Dendrophobia

There is but one true god, and she is a chicken

“Five more minutes…”

“Good morning darling… Oh it's you again (-10)

“For thousands of years I lay dormant, who has disturb my… Oh it's you. (100)”

“Go away, I'm trying to sleep.”





Block is placed/ near block

Get that vile thing away from me (Wither rose)

No matter how many of those you place; your builds *still* won't look good (Trapdoor)

I sense evil. (Sculk)

Why, hello there handsome! (Mystical Oak Tree)(Mystical Oak trees cant be placed in survival so this is creative only :()

Ah, I see you have learned from me (Command Block)

I understand (TNT)

I haven’t seen one of those in a while! (Dragon egg)

Flames won’t be enough! (Fire/Lava)

UUUUUUUOOOOAAAAAAAAAA (Moyai)

Put these foolish ambitions to rest. (Campfire)

What is this verboten thing? (Structure block, Jigsaw block)

What is this imposing presence? (Structure void, Barrier block)

Is that some sort of threat? (Oak planks/log)


Ah, I see you brought something fun! (Bookshelf or lectern)


Go, little guy! (Oak sapling)


Let’s see if I still remember how to use this thing. (Enchantment table/magic-related blocks)


I guess you’ll be here for some time. (chest/storage block)


They’re speaking to me… (Soul sand)


Nice, you’re making this place look a little more welcoming. (Lantern/soul lantern)


To be or not to be, that is the question (Skeleton skull)


After careful consideration, I choose not to be. (Wither skull)


What kind of contraption are you cooking up? (redstone dust)

I don't trust foxes. Plant this far from me (berry bush)

What… What am I looking at here? (petrified oak slab)

“Try not to combine that in a whiter ritual” (Command block)

“You'll need a bigger cage, if you want to move me.” ( Cage block)

“Did you really spend ancient debris on a door? (Netherite Door)

“I would keep an eye on that statue, if i were you.” (Statue)

“Get that mechanical thing away from me!” (Create: Mechanical Saw)

“Oh thank you! (Any Present)

“Are you seriously trying to establish a kingdom here?” (Flag/Banner)

“If I could only make my roots as sharp as those.” (Bamboo spikes)

“Can you put that thing somewhere else, I don't want farm animals using me as they wish.” (Fodder)

“So that's how the world looks…” (Globe)

“Ah $player_name what the hell is that!? (Stripped Oak)

“Do not disrespect the dead $player_name” (player_head)

“Ah a smile! No wait, that's a corpse.” (Slime block)

“That's a lie.” (Cake)

“I dont have the need for armor.” (Framed Block)

“There used to be a man who tried to sell me that.” (Rope)

“That's some really expensive decoration.” (Netherite trapdoor)

“Run.” (Botania: Tiny Potato)

“Oh dear me, NOT THE BEES!!!” (Beehive)


🗿 (moyai)

Credits
(put your name here)
TGP (Light Blue)
Bepsus (Dark Green)
snugget (Dark Cyan)
da chicken? (Orange)
Tronche2Cake (Dark Magenta)
TheVoxelroguery (Pale-ish Purple)
Zepjamb (Lime Green)
this was a mistake
Treebread(Bold Brown)
LarsMans (Green-Blue)
Turnoverdisc (Beige-Yellow)
Looxond (Light green)
Suomi_Ikuisesti (Navy Blue)(i couldnt remove the green tint)
BlackbirdAntlion (Light Magenta)
Spinoyonyx (#657dc4)
3TSeeker
